Cinco

Today is a day I dread arriving.  Last November, Angie and I found out we were expecting our fifth child, who we had nicknamed Cinco.  We were very excited, but only told a few people.

Things were going well as Christmas approached.  On December 22, as is our tradition, we had our family Christmas celebration before traveling to Clovis for the big event.  Typically, we go out to eat at a nice restaurant for lunch (usually at Olive Garden), then return home to open presents and relax for the rest of the day.

We decided to tell the kids about Cinco as a Christmas surprise, or more specifically, I decided we should and Angie gave in.  They were so excited to be welcoming in a new addition to our family.  We had a joyous meal and discussed the new baby a lot.  Then we headed home to open presents.

Maci fell asleep in the car on the way home, so I sat with her for a few minutes after we got home while we tried to decide whether to wake her up to open presents or let her sleep while the other kids waited.  Meanwhile, Angie went in to the restroom.  She returned with a grim look on her face and told me she was bleeding.

My first thought was "Lord please no."  We'd been down this road four times before, twice it ended in miscarriage.  Angie and I didn't know what to do, so we let the kids open their presents and hoped it would go away, but it didn't.  We spent all night at the ER, knowing there was nothing that could be done, but praying for something.  The doctor told us he detected a heartbeat, but the hCG levels were low.  We didn't let our hopes get to high, but at least we knew thought was a chance.

Angie spent the next day resting, but the bleeding continued.  On Christmas Eve, we headed to Clovis for the big, family Christmas.  When we got there, Angie told her parents what was going on.  We went through the motions of Christmas Eve festivities for the kids.  Poor Angie was so strong through the evening.  She didn't let on to anyone what we were going through.

The next morning Angie got in the tub because she was cramping badly.  I sat with her because we knew what was happening.  She was losing the baby on Christmas Day, just three days after we told the kids and had that happy lunch.  Sure enough, the baby was "delivered" in the tub at about 8 weeks gestation.  The embryo was about the size of a grape. We could make out the major parts through the sac.  We could see the outline of the head, the back bone and a little black spot that was the heart.

We held Cinco in our hands and cried for several minutes.  Then I went forward with one of the hardest days of my life.  I started with telling my father-in-law and watched as tears welled up in the eyes of the strongest man I know.  Then I told my mother-in-law and the kids.  I held the kids in my arms and cried with them.  Then I called my mom and told her the situation.  It was easier to tell her over the phone than to look her in the eye.  She knows the pain.  She's been down this road too.

I took the kids to breakfast at my mom's house, then back to the in-laws for lunch and then to my dads for dinner.  Throughout the day I put on my happy face, took pictures and tried to avoid ruining Christmas for the kids.  No one in the family knew about the pregnancy, so I had to tell each person about the situation as the arrived.  Each time, I had to go through the shock again, but still hold it together.  Angie was a wreck.  I don't think she remembers anything from that bath until Kierstyn's birthday on the 27th.  Even then, the next week is pretty sketchy.  I vaguely remember going to a New Year's Eve party at a friends house.

I tell this story now because today is Cinco's due date.  The due date is the second hardest day of the miscarriage because you can't help but think about what might have been.  But it is also when you can start putting the tragedy behind you and begin to heal.  Obviously, Christmas day will always be hard, just like Thanksgiving. We had our first miscarriage in 2001 on the day before Thanksgiving.

On this day, I choose to honor God because through this tragedy God has begun a mighty work in our lives.  This tragedy set us on the path to Little E.  See God wanted us to have another child, but he already had a child in mind for us.  Angie and I made the decision to try for another baby in August, 2009.  This is exactly when Little E entered the orphanage.  God had already delivered our next child to us as soon as we decided we were going to add to our family.  He knew this little boy needed a family and he began working on our hearts.

As we began our adoption journey, Angie prayed that the baby we would adopt would be born near Cinco's due date (at the time we were looking to adopt a baby).  Little E's birthday is August 9th.  Our God is mighty, powerful and yet personal.  He knew exactly how to send us the message that Little E was our child and he had planned for it well in advance.

Lord, today I choose to trust you with my life.  I choose to trust you with my family.  Lord, you have cared for me in the past.  You fulfill my daily needs in the present and I choose to trust you with my future.

There is no better song for moments like these.  If you don't know the story of this song, look up Horatio Spafford and "it is well with my soul."




-- Justin

Happy Birthday Little E!

Little E is three today!  It was a bittersweet day, but we talked a lot about what fun we'll be having with him on his next birthday.  Pretty cool day to have a birthday this year - 8/9/10.   :)  KJ baked him a cake and all three girls decorated it.  It's amazing to me how much love we already have for this little guy we've never even met!

Bulb Fundraiser

The kids in our homeschool group have joined forces to raise money for plane tickets to Ethiopia for our family and the Norris family!  The Norris' are also adopting from Ethiopia --- two precious girls!

So the kids are selling flower bulbs and the brochure is making me drool!  I love, love, love growing flowers [even though I mostly kill them]!  My favorites are the black tulips pictured above.

If you would like to see the brochure, you can click on the link below.  Good luck deciding what to order.  They all look exciting!  You can send me a message with your order and we'll work out how to get the money to us.  If you're a member of Celebration, you can talk to just about any of the homeschooling children and they can take your order.

All orders should be prepaid.  We are taking orders from now through September 15.  The bulbs will be received soon after that, just in time for fall planting season.  We'll hand deliver them to you.  If you're in Clovis, don't despair!  We'll make a special trip down there to drop your bulbs off.

The bulbs are guaranteed to bloom.  If they don't, they'll be replaced for free.  Check out the brochure and thanks so much for supporting us!!!

Bulb Catalog

We're Submitted

We got word this morning that our case has been submitted to high court in Ethiopia!!!  We didn't expect it to happen quite so fast.  Little E's paperwork must have been all ready to go.  He has been in care for a year now, so I guess they've had plenty of time to get everything together.

So what exactly does this mean?  Well, when we find out our court date, Justin and I will fly to Ethiopia to appear before a judge.  We'll meet Little E briefly and talk to his doctor and nanny's.  That trip will only be a few days in country, but after that he will be legally ours!!

Is that when you bring him home?  No.  We have to come back home and wait for the paperwork for his visa to be completed.  Then, we will be given a date to appear at the US Embassy in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to apply for his visa.  That will happen anywhere from 8-12 weeks after our first trip.  For that trip, it will be me, my dad, and Cade.  We also hope to meet Little E's birth father at that time.

When will you find out your court date?  Unfortunately, today is the last day that the courts are open until the end of September.  They close for the rainy season.  We hope to find out our court date soon after they re-open.

Please continue to lift us up in prayer as we continue this amazing journey!  We are starting to gather donations to take to the care centers.  If you're interested in being a part of that, let me know and I will get a list of requested items to you. 


We're also gearing up for more fundraising.  Traveling halfway around the world with two weeks notice is not cheap!  Stay tuned for some fun things you won't want to miss!

A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.  Proverbs 15:30

Everything on Our End is Done

We received our 171H on Monday!  Start to finish, it took two months.  The age is wrong on it, but it shouldn't be difficult to fix.  It says we're approved for a child age 0-3.  But Little E turns three very soon, so the age should be 0-4.  This needs to be corrected by the time we have our embassy appointment to get his visa, which will hopefully be early next year.

It's a relief to be done with the last piece of paperwork on our end!  We are, unfortunately, ready to be submitted to court right as they close for two months for the rainy season.  Hopefully, we'll be submitted as soon as everything reopens at the end of September.  We are a little frustrated with the timing, but as I was doing my Bible reading this morning I came across this verse:


For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11
I am sad because I don't understand how Little E being in an orphanage for over a year and a half can be part of the plan.  But today I realized that I should look at this verse from Little E's perspective.  God is not just promising to give me a hope and a future.  He's promising that to Little E, too.  We have to trust in His divine plan, not only for our own lives, but also for the lives of those around us.  Little E is in a place where, by all accounts, he is very loved and very well cared for.  That gives us such peace as we wait. 

We recently got word from Brittany's Hope, our granting organization, that we have successfully fulfilled all of our obligations to them!  We are so grateful to them and the work they do to bring children home to their forever families.  You can learn more about their organization here: Brittany's Hope

Now we need to decide if we are getting vaccines and if so, which ones??  This is a difficult decision for us, since we've just recently moved from being a non-vaxing family, to selectively vaxing.

In other news, I'm starting the kids back to school next week.  The last of our curriculum should have arrived by then.  *fingers crossed*  We usually don't start until the third week of August, but I don't want to be worried about the time we'll have to take off while I travel to Ethiopia twice and we adjust to having a new little guy in the house.  Besides that, the kids are to the point where they beg to be on the computer or Wii constantly.  It is time.  :)

And, finally, we are officially counting down to Justin's law school graduation in months instead of years!!  Ok, technically it's exactly a year away --- but I'm choosing to call it 12 months and it's downhill from here.  C'mon next August!!